We are all going to die. We know it, but death is something distant, something that will occur someday, not this morning nor this afternoon. Likewise, we work out and eat healthy to live longer. We use all kinds of products to preserve our youth in the hopes of beating time. We listen carefully to people who believe we can live forever and buy anything they sell to extend our lives. However, it is foolish to think that we can overcome death by simply working out or looking younger. Healthy and young people die every day from different circumstances. Death cannot be defeated, and still, we seek immortality every single day of our lives. Every day, we are preoccupied with death.
Exploring our attitudes toward death is one of the reasons that made Ernest Becker write his Pulitzer Prize-winning book, “The Denial of Death”, in 1973. The book delves into the fundamental human dilemma of our awareness of mortality and the ways we construct psychological defenses to cope with this existential anxiety. Becker argues that individuals and societies create cultural and symbolic belief systems to deny the reality of death, seeking a sense of immortality through achievements, religion, and culture. He explores the impact of this denial on human behavior, relationships, and the broader human experience. Ultimately, Becker suggested that embracing our mortality can lead to a more authentic and meaningful life.
Creating a Symbolic System
Societies around the world are the main providers of belief systems against mortality. It is within societies that we end up believing that we can transcend death by participating in something of lasting worth. We want to leave a “legacy”, we want to be remembered forever. We believe that we can achieve immortality by sacrificing ourselves (going to war), by building a school, by writing a book, by establishing a family, or by accumulating wealth.
However, creating a symbolic system cannot help us achieve immortality. People have short memory spams. People forget the names of war heroes (Do you know who Witold Pilecki is?); they don’t know who invented school or when; they don’t remember who wrote “Crime and Punishment”; they don’t know who their great-grandparents were; and, currently, many people despise those who have wealth and even smile at their misfortunes. Take as an example the implosion of OceanGate where wealthy people died. Many on the internet celebrated it, ridiculing victims, and their fate[1].
Still, we want to achieve immortality. This fear of death is sadly part of our psychological make-up. This preoccupation about death absorbs our lives and makes us constantly focused on ourselves. Sigmund Freud uncovered that each of us repeat the tragedy of the mythical Greek Narcissus, we are optimistically absorbed with ourselves. The tragedy lies in the psychological need to stand out in society, to be the hero, to make the biggest contribution to the world, and to do something so great that people will remember our names for generations to come. Today, everyone is an “activist.” Everyone is a hero.
Heroism
“Every group, however small or great, has, as such, an “individual” impulse for eternalization, which manifests itself in the creation of and care for national, religious, and artistic heroes… the individual paves the way for this collective eternity impulse…” -Ernest Becker.
Throughout the annals of storytelling, one narrative structure has emerged as a timeless and universal template, serving as the foundation for countless tales that have captivated audiences across cultures and generations. This structure, known as the Hero’s Journey, was first introduced by Joseph Campbell, a renowned mythologist and scholar, in his seminal work “The Hero with a Thousand Faces.”
The Hero’s Journey has become a timeless and universal narrative template that has shaped countless stories throughout human history. It reflects our collective desire for self-discovery, growth, and transformation, and it continues to captivate audiences in literature. The Hero’s Journey is no longer confined to the realm of fiction; it also resonates with individuals in their personal lives.
We are all driven to become the heroes of our own hero’s journeys. We see it on social media all the time; people climbing the Everest, people using their money to go places where no men have gone, inventing products to save lives, and protesting big corporations or governments. We feel the need to stand out. We want people to see our deeds, to remember our names, to know our triumphs and tragedies We want our names to be an inspiration for new generations. We simply want to be remembered. The hero is part of the person’s symbolic identity, and everything the person does in their symbolic world is an attempt to deny his death.
Everyone has dreams. We all want to become the next big entrepreneur., the next millionaire, or the next big artist. Not many people achieve great accolades, but achieving greatness can happen to me – that is our belief! We think, “I am not like the rest of the people. I am meant to make a change in the world”. However, life is not a hero’s journey. Life has ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’, and many times we don’t get to choose which one we will end up being. We simplify the complex reality of life. We create an illusion of cosmic purpose and, therefore, we are bound for disappointment.
Life
Life is complex and is a valley of tears, suffering, agonizing and humiliating daily pettiness, sickness, and death; a place where people constantly struggle. Societies should stop designing activities to avoid confronting the reality of life. Becker advised that instead of creating symbolic systems to transcend death, we should practice dying. By cultivating awareness of our own mortality, we can focus on our life and what life has to offer, with both the good and bad.
We should embrace the perspective of paying attention to the now, focusing on the immediate experience without getting lost in thoughts about the future or trying to change the experience. Immanuel Kant, an influential philosopher of the 18th century, had a comprehensive philosophical system that encompassed many aspects of human life, including ethics and the concept of living a good life.
In terms of living, Kant argued that individuals should act according to moral principles that could be universalized, meaning that everyone should be able to follow these principles without contradiction. He emphasized the importance of rationality and autonomy in decision-making, suggesting that individuals should act in accordance with their own rational will, free from external or societal influences.
Alan Watts (1915-1973) a British-born philosopher, writer, and speaker also emphasized the importance of living in the present. He argued that many people are preoccupied with the past or the future and miss out on the richness of the present. He saw mindfulness and presence as key to a fulfilling life. Watts encouraged a playful and joyful approach to life. He believed that life should not be overly serious and that people should find joy in everyday experiences.
The best way to endure life is to face it, not run away from it. There is no destination to arrive at. Unfortunately, people understand life as a journey, a destination with a serious purpose at the end, maybe success or heaven after death. But life is playful. To explain this, Watts used an analogy with music. He often spoke about the idea that life is a dance and should be enjoyed as such. “The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”
Bronnie Ware’s book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” provides a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of the common regrets expressed by individuals in the final stages of their lives. Drawing from her experiences as a palliative care nurse, Ware shares stories and reflections that offer valuable insights into what truly matters in life. The number one regret for people was the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected.
As Becker suggested, embracing our mortality can lead us to live a more authentic and meaningful life. We ought to be free from societal symbolic systems. We ought to live our lives in accordance with our rational wills and values. Becker reminds us of the importance of living a life that resonates with our values. A life that is enjoyed not as a journey, or a destination. A playful life that ought to be simply enjoyed; using Watts’ analogy, “life is a musical thing, and you are supposed to sing or to dance while the music is being played”.
[1] https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/titan-sumbersible-anger-schadenfreude-1.6889506
References
- Becker, E. (1997). The denial of death. Simon and Schuster.
- Campbell, J. (2008). The hero with a thousand faces (Vol. 17). New World Library.
- Ware, B. (2012). The top five regrets of the dying: A life transformed by the dearly departing. Hay House, Inc.
