Miswanting is a concept used in psychology to describe the propensity of individuals to have inaccurate or misguided desires. Basically, this psychological phenomenon occurs when people believe that obtaining or experiencing a particular thing will bring them happiness, satisfaction, or fulfillment, but in reality, it does not. People overestimates how happy they will feel if they obtain something they have wanted. In reality, that desired thing does not bring as much joy as expected (Gilbert & Wilson, 2000).
Undoubtedly, human desires and aspirations are an integral part of our lives, driving us to pursue various goals and experiences. However, the concept of miswanting highlights the potential pitfalls of our desires. The tendency to harbor inaccurate or misguided desires leads individuals to believe that achieving certain goals or acquiring specific possessions will bring lasting happiness and fulfillment. In the end, these misguided desires can leave individuals feeling disillusioned.
Miswanting arises from a range of cognitive biases and errors in judgment that can distort our understanding of what truly brings us happiness and contentment. One example is the ‘hedonic treadmill’ phenomenon, where individuals adapt to new circumstances and quickly revert to their baseline levels of happiness. This leads to a perpetual cycle of seeking new desires, as the initial excitement and gratification of achieving a desired outcome are often short-lived.
Another error in judgment is the impact bias or affective forecasting, which refers to the predisposition of individuals to overestimate the intensity and duration of their emotional reactions to future events. It is the tendency to believe that both positive and negative events will have a more significant impact on our emotional state than they actually do.
People often rely on their current emotional state to predict how they will feel in the future, assuming that their emotional reaction will be more intense and prolonged than it typically turns out to be. For example, someone may anticipate that winning a competition will bring them immense and lasting happiness, only to find that the initial joy diminishes relatively quickly.
This bias can be observed in various situations, including both positive and negative events such as receiving a promotion, experiencing a romantic breakup, or even mundane everyday occurrences such as missing a bus. Studies have shown that impact bias tends to be more prominent in situations with a high emotional charge, which can be difficult to control.
There are a few underlying factors that contribute to impact bias. First, people tend to focus on the most salient aspects of an event while neglecting other factors that could moderate their emotional response. Second, individuals often fail to account for their psychological resilience and adaptive capacity, underestimating their ability to cope with both positive and adverse events.
All these errors in judgment are influenced by social comparisons or societal expectations, assuming that certain events should have a stronger emotional impact based on cultural norms or social standards. In a world driven by social media and the constant exposure to curated images of others’ lives, we often compare ourselves to others and desire what we believe will make us more successful, attractive, or respected. This constant comparison also leads to overestimating the happiness of others, which can make us feel insufficient.
Overestimating the happiness of others stems from our limited perspective and the tendency to make judgments based on surface-level observations. When we witness individuals showcasing their achievements or joyful moments, we may assume that their lives are consistently filled with happiness. However, this perception is often an incomplete picture, as it neglects the challenges, struggles, and emotional complexities that lie beneath the surface.
As mentioned, overestimating the happiness of others can have detrimental effects on our well-being and interpersonal relationships. Firstly, it can contribute to feelings of envy, and self-doubt. When we perceive others as being consistently happier, more successful, or more fulfilled, we may develop a sense of personal deficiency or a belief that our own lives are lacking in comparison. This comparison can lead to overall life dissatisfaction.
Besides social comparison, societal influences and advertising shape our perception of what we should want to feel happy or fulfilled. The media bombards us with messages suggesting that certain possessions, lifestyles, or experiences are the keys to happiness. Consequently, we develop desires based on external influences rather than genuine needs and preferences, leading to a misguided pursuit of fulfillment.
Miswanting can have far-reaching implications for our decision-making. Therefore, understanding this phenomenon is important as to take measures to enhance our happiness based on our own values. Pursuing desires that do not align with our true values can result in a perpetual state of disappointment and an endless cycle of striving for more. This pursuing of things that we believe will make us joyful can negatively impact our mental health, as feelings of discontent and frustration may overshadow any temporary pleasure derived from the attainment of our desires.
Recognizing and navigating miswanting is crucial for leading a fulfilled and balanced life. Developing self-awareness is the first step. Reflecting on our desires, and questioning their origins, can help us discern whether they align with our dependable values. Cultivating a sense of gratitude for what we already have can also counter miswanting. By focusing on the present moment and appreciating the positives in our lives, we can reduce the incessant desire for more and develop contentment with what we already possess. It is important to note that embracing intrinsic values, such as compassion, and meaningful relationships, can provide a more stable and enduring source of fulfillment.
Whether we like it or not, miswanting is a pervasive aspect of the human experience, often leading us astray in our own pursuit of happiness and fulfillment. By understanding the nature and causes of miswanting, we can approach our desires with greater discernment and make choices that are more aligned with our authentic ‘wants’. By fostering self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, and embracing intrinsic values, we can navigate the pitfalls of miswanting and cultivate a more meaningful and satisfying life.
References
- Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2000). Miswanting: Some problems in the forecasting of future affective states.
